No place like home

Remember to take life with a grain of salt... wedge of lime and shot of tequila Antoinette. 

There are a lot of surveys out there these days boys and girls. Surveys that purport to tell you political opinion, consumer preferences, dating habits, customer satisfaction, taste great/less filling, the greatest this and the greatest that. Of course you should take all surveys with a grain of salt and I would suggest adding the tequila, and why not... throw in the lime! That's because tequila is a good metaphor. Some people drink the liquor of the blue agave plant because they are happy and agree with things and want to celebrate, others drink tequila and get fighting mad because what you just said was just a bunch of TC! (Toro Caca, 🐃💩) The problem with surveys are they are usually oriented to a desired outcome by how the questions are phrased, where they are placed and the intended audience🐑. For instance a recent survey decided to research which movie is the most influential based on the number of references to or in other movies🎬. Sounds pretty scientific though of course movies are made by a small number of people of a similar artistic ilk (hollyweirders) so you can imagine that they reference similar cinematic influences. The number one influential movie under this scoring was The Wizard of Oz!👠🌪 Now I'm ok with that because there are some good quotable lines in there and cultural influencers. "... we're not in Kansas anymore🌈," "I'll get you my pretty," and "there's no place like home🏡" to name a few. Of course seeing how the movie is based on a book that was an allegory for the 1896 Presidential race in which there was a great political divide you can also see how it would retain its resonance and has direct parallels to modern people, events and issues though what seems obvious might not actually be the case. For instance the Scarecrow, "If I only had a brain🧠," might have you immediately thinking the #AOC or any other member of the fraud squad🤡, but was actually representative of the agriculture side of the Populist party👨‍🌾. A kind of third party that was made up of disenfranchised plain folk... farmers, labor, etc who were smart in a non academic way, just ignored... kind of like "deplorables." And when Dorothy asks him how he can talk if he doesn't have a brain, he replies, "I don't know, but some people without brains do an awful lot of talking don't they?"🗣 And this was way before the recent Presidential candidate debate where nobody #feltthebern, nor were pierced by a Warren arrow of contrived wampum🙉. Of course this doesn't even consider the number of elitist🤫, educated way beyond their intelligence, who believe only they can guide the sheep and will do so for their own good while they shear them of all individuality and pontificating behind their ivory towers and gated communities. Then you had the Tin Man who repped the industrial worker👨‍🔧... the heartless dehumanized victim of the mechanical age🤖. Like now when Big Brother has taken over, faux rage over contrived grievances and where the heart❤ is a publicity ad for sympathetic "wokeness" and merely a representation of how many insincere "likes" you get on your photoshopped image or repost in a quest to artificially best your multitude of "genuine friends" on social media. 🤳 Do you think you can consider someone's number of likes as cyberbullying if you have less likes for your posting? 🤔 I think I need a safe space for a moment. Ok, back now...I found it, 🍷. Where was I...oh yeah, the Cowardly Lion🦁. Of course the cowardly lion reps those who "once had courage but it's now vanished" crowd. Think about the Greatest Generation whose courage was in spite of their fear🤨, compared to today's lack of courage safe space needing generation😰🤒😷🤕🤮 seen most evidently by the multitudes afraid of words📚, statues🗿, place names and the insidious nature of institutionalized equality of opportunity instead of the equality of outcome the fearful seek. "Why you're nothing but a great big coward." So to seek a solution for the lack of brains, heart and courage,  Dorothy takes her friends down the yellow brick road of gold💰 to where all the money leads... the Emerald City, or as it is often referred to today... the swamp🐍. But of course what they realize is the swamp can't give them anything... it's an artifice. They already had what they sought, they just forgot how to use it and ceded their authority and their money💵 over to those who would have them believe they held all the solutions. How did this happen? Well the Wicked Witch drugged them with the poppies💉💊🌼 of big government... created crises and instability so the munchkins would give up their control by seeking a solution for all and with the promise of the end of the rainbow...but ending up with nothing cuz you can't reach that pot of gold. Instead we are left with false promises🦄, new faux bogeymen and self imposed crises... debt, urban decay, cultural breakdown, reality tv, illegal immigration👨‍🚀, confused genders🧚‍♂️, Top Gun remakes✈, video game millionaires, The View, global warming then cooling, violent statues🗿, the man bun🙈,and according to #AOC worst of all... those freezing cold ICE Detention Centers in front of 7/11 and gas stations everywhere. 🙊  Remember when Charm City🤝 was charming... or the City of Brotherly Love✌ was loving... or the windy city was🌬... well I guess it still is cuz the same politicians are still there but the others no! And yet the people accept it by swallowing the bilge and drinking the tainted water from the faucet🚱. Sheep! But not to worry America, because I can get you to that metaphorical pot of gold💰 at the end of the rainbow. So wake up..."you were having a nachtmare." We've created our own bogeymen, but it's time to stop the Nightmare on Elm Street🧟‍♂️ at # who knows? We just need to consider some other great and influential movies like Caddyshack, Animal House, Young Frankenstein, Talladega Nights, The Big Lebowski and Stripes that incomprehensibly didn't make the list. Movies that deal with why that glass of your favorite adult beverage 🍸

is half full of optimism instead of that defeatest half empty Cosmo you've been drinking. Quotes like "we're American... and we've been kicking ass for 200 years."🇺🇸 PTSD help, "lighten up Francis." Healthcare solutions like, "no one lives forever, but with advances in modern science and [our] high level of income (from less regs and taxes) it's not crazy to think [we] can live to 245 maybe 300!" Alternatives to food stamps,  "This is the worst looking hat I ever saw. I bet when you buy a hat like that you get a free bowl of soup🥣. Looks good on you though." Agricultural improvements, "this is a cross of Kentucky blue grass and... California sensemilia... you can play 36 holes🏌️‍♂️ and then get stoned to the bejesus.🤪🤪" Unsure of college👨‍🏫, "well the world needs ditch diggers too." Otherwise it might be,  "seven years of college down the drain.👨‍🎓" In which case,  "my advice to you is to start drinking heavily," but remember,  "fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life." Sino-American relations,  "Dude, the Chinaman is not the issue here." How to talk to the fraud squad, "sooner or later you're going to have to face the fact that you're a moron!" But never despair America because it's not over. "Over? Did you say over? Nothing is over until we decide it is. Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell no." "Well you can do what you want, but I'm not gonna sit here while you bad mouth the United States of America!" #MAGA "Now how about little something, you know, for the effort?" Survey says..."you will receive total consciousness." So you got that going for you now. And no matter what you think just remember, "yeah, well, that's just like your opinion man." And perhaps most importantly, "Hey, careful, there's a beverage here."🍺 Now, maybe the Scarecrow will even loan out his brainpower to some pols seeking a presidential candidacy...

I could while away the hours
Conferrin' with the flowers,
Consulting with the rain;
And my head I'd be a scratchin'
While my thoughts are busy hatchin'
If I only had a brain.

I'd unravel ev'ry riddle for my 
Individdle
In trouble or in pain
With the thoughts that you'll be thinkin'
You could be another Lincoln
If you only had a brain.

Oh, I, could tell you why 
The oceans near the shore
I could think of things I'd never
Thunk before,
And then I'd sit down and think some more.

I would not be just a muffin',
My head all full of stuffin',
My heart all full of pain;
And perhaps I'd deserve you and be
Even worthy even you
If I only had a brain