Year of the Rat
It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats, Antoinette.
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat🐀! Rats are a fitting metaphor for many things in our lives both good and bad. Good things include the Rat Pack 🕴🕴🏿🎶 because they're the coolest, but be careful about being a pack rat if you have limited space🏡. Gym rats are good if you're trying to make the team⛹️♂️, but if it's you in a lovefest with the gym mirror not so much🏋️♂️. Now lab rats can be beneficial to humans unless some kind of permutation occurs where you'll end up in a movie with Willard and Ben😱. Of course most of us do get up every morning from the alarm clocks warning⏰ to take care of business in this rat race of life, but we do get to collect our pay💵 to buy this reward 🍸🍺🍷so that kind of makes it worthwhile. When it comes to rats though, the big thing to remember is to stay away from the rat bastards like Big Brother👤. You know the totalitarian communist/ socialist who used the threat of ravenous rats to turn citizens of Oceania against each other and nobody likes a rat fink. Like some Goodfellas I know, "Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut."🤐 That's why they invented rat poison☠⚰. Speaking of which... barkeep🍸👌! So the moral of this part of the story is to be careful because rat pops up in lots of places... like words and you should probably know that words have meanings!🤔 For instance, babies love rattles👶 as long as they're not attached to a snake🐍, so be sure to keep an eye on them. And while nobody wants to see a rat in the kitchen, I hear Ratatouille is a first rate chef🥘. This of course brings us to some other famous rat words like lucrative, gratification, rational, and democratic to name some good ones and carbohydrate, concentration camps, rattlebrain, Democrat and deep state bureaucrats to name some bad ones. Why am I prattling on about rats you may be asking... well I'll tell you. It's 2020, and the Chinese say it's time to put away the Bbq, pork rinds, bacon and Bacon Bloody Mary's from 2019's Year of the Pig, because we have now kicked off the Year of the Rat.
Sounds unpleasant I know, but we do get a lot of things from China and they're not all bad...pandas🐼, cheap toys🏓, inexpensive take out🍜, reliable study buddies on test days 🤓(dibs on the seat next to Chin), witticisms from Confucius and the perfect guide on how to build a border wall🧱. Of course we also get pandemic flu🤒, nuclear threat🚀, steroided swimmers🏊🏽♀️, radical Maoisms and Hong Kong oppressors. So I guess it's a combo of the good with the bad. The Chinese also gave us a different zodiac calendar🗓...theirs runs on 12 year cycles with animals and earth elements to signify personality types, compatibility etc.... its like Tinder from the stars🌠, but from the 5 star rated China🇨🇳 with cheap prices💴. Of course last year was the year of the pig🐖 and people born under the pig sign include former Prez wannabe HRC who though not relevant was still prevalent, and current high waisted porcine🐷 figure J Nads. 2018 was the Year of the Dog 🐕which coincidentally was the birth sign of 3 of the last 4 presidents #42, #43 and #45...2 of whom have been impeached for embarrassing the year of the pig candidate. Of course there are many people currently in the news who may or may not fit their Chinese Zodiac sign... you be the judge. Take for instance current Speaker, chardonnay sipper🥂 and urgent impeacher Nan is a year of the Dragon type🐲. Slitherly front running Iowa caucus commie BernieFeels and protege #AOC as well as billionaire socialist Bloomberg are year of the snake types🐍. And rival Native American candidate Squaw Heap Big Story Teller Warren is a year of the ox type🐃. I guess that's where oxymoronic comes from.🤣 Finally, let's get to the present... the Rats🐀! You know how they say people begin to look like their dogs... maybe it's true for the Chinese Zodiac animals as well. Take for instance rattlebrained Capital Hill Hoaxers A Schiff and A Gore
Now just because they're a couple rats, doesn't make them dirty rats, after all they are esteemed men and even lawyers. Who ever thought of a lawyer as a rat? What? Al Gore didn't finish law school or even divinity school? 🤷♂️ Hmm, but he has used his divine powers to predict twice that he only has 10 more years to live in his Cali beach house and 10,000 sq foot Nashville home. Anyway, rat, snake, dragon, ox, dog or whatever creature there's plenty of room on this Ark. Time to resolve in this new New Year's🎉 to rework those resolutions. Maybe it's time to go in a different direction and choose a resolution worth keeping... amity to all! Be optimistic and consider your glass half full with space for more wine to fill it up🍷. Make 2020 a year of clear vision, and send the Pied Piper to steer all the disease spreading rats into the rat trap! That should take care of the problem with the Rat in the Kitchen, UB40...
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat🐀! Rats are a fitting metaphor for many things in our lives both good and bad. Good things include the Rat Pack 🕴🕴🏿🎶 because they're the coolest, but be careful about being a pack rat if you have limited space🏡. Gym rats are good if you're trying to make the team⛹️♂️, but if it's you in a lovefest with the gym mirror not so much🏋️♂️. Now lab rats can be beneficial to humans unless some kind of permutation occurs where you'll end up in a movie with Willard and Ben😱. Of course most of us do get up every morning from the alarm clocks warning⏰ to take care of business in this rat race of life, but we do get to collect our pay💵 to buy this reward 🍸🍺🍷so that kind of makes it worthwhile. When it comes to rats though, the big thing to remember is to stay away from the rat bastards like Big Brother👤. You know the totalitarian communist/ socialist who used the threat of ravenous rats to turn citizens of Oceania against each other and nobody likes a rat fink. Like some Goodfellas I know, "Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut."🤐 That's why they invented rat poison☠⚰. Speaking of which... barkeep🍸👌! So the moral of this part of the story is to be careful because rat pops up in lots of places... like words and you should probably know that words have meanings!🤔 For instance, babies love rattles👶 as long as they're not attached to a snake🐍, so be sure to keep an eye on them. And while nobody wants to see a rat in the kitchen, I hear Ratatouille is a first rate chef🥘. This of course brings us to some other famous rat words like lucrative, gratification, rational, and democratic to name some good ones and carbohydrate, concentration camps, rattlebrain, Democrat and deep state bureaucrats to name some bad ones. Why am I prattling on about rats you may be asking... well I'll tell you. It's 2020, and the Chinese say it's time to put away the Bbq, pork rinds, bacon and Bacon Bloody Mary's from 2019's Year of the Pig, because we have now kicked off the Year of the Rat.
Sounds unpleasant I know, but we do get a lot of things from China and they're not all bad...pandas🐼, cheap toys🏓, inexpensive take out🍜, reliable study buddies on test days 🤓(dibs on the seat next to Chin), witticisms from Confucius and the perfect guide on how to build a border wall🧱. Of course we also get pandemic flu🤒, nuclear threat🚀, steroided swimmers🏊🏽♀️, radical Maoisms and Hong Kong oppressors. So I guess it's a combo of the good with the bad. The Chinese also gave us a different zodiac calendar🗓...theirs runs on 12 year cycles with animals and earth elements to signify personality types, compatibility etc.... its like Tinder from the stars🌠, but from the 5 star rated China🇨🇳 with cheap prices💴. Of course last year was the year of the pig🐖 and people born under the pig sign include former Prez wannabe HRC who though not relevant was still prevalent, and current high waisted porcine🐷 figure J Nads. 2018 was the Year of the Dog 🐕which coincidentally was the birth sign of 3 of the last 4 presidents #42, #43 and #45...2 of whom have been impeached for embarrassing the year of the pig candidate. Of course there are many people currently in the news who may or may not fit their Chinese Zodiac sign... you be the judge. Take for instance current Speaker, chardonnay sipper🥂 and urgent impeacher Nan is a year of the Dragon type🐲. Slitherly front running Iowa caucus commie BernieFeels and protege #AOC as well as billionaire socialist Bloomberg are year of the snake types🐍. And rival Native American candidate Squaw Heap Big Story Teller Warren is a year of the ox type🐃. I guess that's where oxymoronic comes from.🤣 Finally, let's get to the present... the Rats🐀! You know how they say people begin to look like their dogs... maybe it's true for the Chinese Zodiac animals as well. Take for instance rattlebrained Capital Hill Hoaxers A Schiff and A Gore
There's a rat in me kitchen what am I gonna do?
There's a rat in me kitchen what am I gonna go?
I'm gonna fix that rat that's what I'm gonna do,
I'm gonna fix that rat.
When you open your mouth you don't talk, you shout
And you give every body the blame,
But when they catch you up,
They will shut you up
And you got no one to blame
There's a rat in me kitchen what am I gonna go?
I'm gonna fix that rat that's what I'm gonna do,
I'm gonna fix that rat.
When you open your mouth you don't talk, you shout
And you give every body the blame,
But when they catch you up,
They will shut you up
And you got no one to blame
There's a rat in me kitchen
When you out on the street,
You practice lies and deceit
And you scandalize my name
But when I catch you up
I'm gonna pull you up
I'm gonna check-out inside your brain
When you out on the street,
You practice lies and deceit
And you scandalize my name
But when I catch you up
I'm gonna pull you up
I'm gonna check-out inside your brain
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