Year of the Rat

It has recently been discovered that research causes cancer in rats, Antoinette.

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat๐Ÿ€! Rats are a fitting metaphor for many things in our lives both good and bad. Good things include the Rat Pack ๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿ•ด๐Ÿฟ๐ŸŽถ because they're the coolest, but be careful about being a pack rat if you have limited space๐Ÿก. Gym rats are good if you're trying to make the team⛹️‍♂️, but if it's you in a lovefest with the gym mirror not so much๐Ÿ‹️‍♂️. Now lab rats can be beneficial to humans unless some kind of permutation occurs where you'll end up in a movie with Willard and Ben๐Ÿ˜ฑ. Of course most of us do get up every morning from the alarm clocks warning⏰ to take care of business in this rat race of life, but we do get to collect our pay๐Ÿ’ต to buy this reward ๐Ÿธ๐Ÿบ๐Ÿทso that kind of makes it worthwhile. When it comes to rats though, the big thing to remember is to stay away from the rat bastards like Big Brother๐Ÿ‘ค.  You know the totalitarian communist/ socialist who used the threat of ravenous rats to turn citizens of Oceania against each other and nobody likes a rat fink. Like some Goodfellas I know, "Never rat on your friends and always keep your mouth shut."๐Ÿค  That's why they invented rat poison☠⚰. Speaking of which... barkeep๐Ÿธ๐Ÿ‘Œ!  So the moral of this part of the story is to be careful because rat pops up in lots of places... like words and you should probably know that words have meanings!๐Ÿค” For instance, babies love rattles๐Ÿ‘ถ as long as they're not attached to a snake๐Ÿ, so be sure to keep an eye on them. And while nobody wants to see a rat in the kitchen, I hear Ratatouille is a first rate chef๐Ÿฅ˜. This of course brings us to some other famous rat words like lucrative, gratification, rational, and democratic to name some good ones and carbohydrate, concentration camps, rattlebrain, Democrat and deep state bureaucrats to name some bad ones. Why am I prattling on about rats you may be asking... well I'll tell you. It's 2020, and the Chinese say it's time to put away the Bbq, pork rinds, bacon and Bacon Bloody Mary's from 2019's Year of the Pig, because we have now kicked off the Year of the Rat.

Sounds unpleasant I know, but we do get a lot of things from China and they're not all bad...pandas๐Ÿผ, cheap toys๐Ÿ“, inexpensive take out๐Ÿœ, reliable study buddies on test days ๐Ÿค“(dibs on the seat next to Chin), witticisms from Confucius and the perfect guide on how to build a border wall๐Ÿงฑ. Of course we also get pandemic flu๐Ÿค’, nuclear threat๐Ÿš€, steroided swimmers๐ŸŠ๐Ÿฝ‍♀️, radical Maoisms and Hong Kong oppressors. So I guess it's a combo of the good with the bad.   The Chinese also gave us a different zodiac calendar๐Ÿ—“...theirs runs on 12 year cycles with animals and earth elements to signify personality types, compatibility etc.... its like Tinder from the stars๐ŸŒ , but from the 5 star rated China๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ณ with cheap prices๐Ÿ’ด. Of course last year was the year of the pig๐Ÿ– and people born under the pig sign include former Prez wannabe HRC who though not relevant was still prevalent, and current high waisted porcine๐Ÿท figure J Nads. 2018 was the Year of the Dog ๐Ÿ•which coincidentally was the birth sign of 3 of the last 4 presidents #42, #43 and #45...2 of whom have been impeached for embarrassing the year of the pig candidate. Of course there are many people currently in the news who may or may not fit their Chinese Zodiac sign... you be the judge. Take for instance current Speaker, chardonnay sipper๐Ÿฅ‚ and urgent impeacher Nan is a year of the Dragon type๐Ÿฒ. Slitherly front running Iowa caucus commie BernieFeels and protege #AOC as well as billionaire socialist Bloomberg are year of the snake types๐Ÿ. And rival Native American candidate Squaw Heap Big Story Teller Warren is a year of the ox type๐Ÿƒ. I guess that's where oxymoronic comes from.๐Ÿคฃ Finally, let's get to the present... the Rats๐Ÿ€! You know how they say people begin to look like their dogs... maybe it's true for the Chinese Zodiac animals as well. Take for instance rattlebrained Capital Hill Hoaxers A Schiff and A Gore

Now just because they're a couple rats, doesn't make them dirty rats, after all they are esteemed men and even lawyers. Who ever thought of a lawyer as a rat? What? Al Gore didn't finish law school or even divinity school? ๐Ÿคท‍♂️ Hmm, but he has used his divine powers to predict twice that he only has 10 more  years to live in his Cali beach house and 10,000 sq foot Nashville home. Anyway, rat, snake, dragon, ox, dog or whatever creature there's plenty of room on this Ark. Time to resolve in this new New Year's๐ŸŽ‰ to rework those resolutions. Maybe it's time to go in a different direction and choose a resolution worth keeping... amity to all! Be optimistic and consider your glass half full with space for more wine to fill it up๐Ÿท. Make 2020 a year of clear vision, and send the Pied Piper to steer all the disease spreading rats into the rat trap! That should take care of the problem with the Rat in the Kitchen, UB40...

There's a rat in me kitchen what am I gonna do?
There's a rat in me kitchen what am I gonna go?
I'm gonna fix that rat that's what I'm gonna do,
I'm gonna fix that rat.
When you open your mouth you don't talk, you shout
And you give every body the blame,
But when they catch you up,
They will shut you up
And you got no one to blame
There's a rat in me kitchen
When you out on the street,
You practice lies and deceit
And you scandalize my name
But when I catch you up
I'm gonna pull you up
I'm gonna check-out inside your brain


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