All the News that's fit to print!
Just in case you haven't heard former prince of a guy and princess of a girl did something somewhere for which now they have been condemned to Canada, Antoinette.
See now there's the kind of news we can use.📰 A real story about real people with real problems. You know like how do you screw up so royally bad? A potential future King of England👑 (yeah I know... about 100 people need to get whacked first... try calling the Clintons) meets Cinderella (Meg Markle)👠👸, marry and have a prince👶 then decided too much... they want out... will give up the family business of waving to large crowds🤚, and somehow earn their own money...in CANADA🇨🇦! I hear there's a lot of money in maple syrup. Of course it's a tough world out there, but you do have to commend these millennials for moving out of their parents basement🏰 and trying life on their own dime without their million dollar allowance💰... well maybe, we'll see!
Of course the point of all this is the problem of discerning real news and fake news and of course fake fake news sometimes called parody🤔. In fact the lines have gone murky and gray. Just like this blogs title...a statement that was supposed to reinforce that particular newspapers impartiality. I think I just choked on my beer...🍺🤮! Well we may have gone far afield from those noble 7 words but... oh well. Journalism has undertaken a decidedly yellow taint. Now there's news you can use and news better for refuse...you know like the Washington comPost, the Old Gray Lady if you're with her, or Bloomberg if you like your propaganda more along the lines of the billionaire socialist bent. Of course you can also choose to get your version of the news from any of the many alternative sources from all across the political, geographic and subject matter spectrum. Or maybe you prefer the slightly more believable Parody sites like the Onion, or Babylon Times, or Genius Times. The fact is in today's world of headlines you'd be hard put to discern the real from the false🤥. Fill your glass 🍸and I'll give you some examples...I'll leave it to you to figure out the veracity. "NYT endorses Amy Klobacher and Elizabeth Warren for president, citing Warren as a gifted storyteller."
Then those pesky science deniers, "Denver Post columnist fired after arguing there are two sexes." Of course competition for the next DNC lamb for slaughter just got tougher, "Deceased Iranian General Soleimani surges into 4th in Democrat Primary."
This one stinks, "Cop makes arrest in bathroom after smelling crack."🚽 And where's Planned Parenthood and eugenics when you need them, "State population to double by 2040; babies to blame." And speaking of civil unrest and racist governors... weren't we?...Ralph Northam claims: "a militia assembling to defend their rights against tyranny is a dangerous first in American history."
If you don't believe that just ask the squaw, "Elizabeth Warren opens casino to help finance campaign." Or ask a working woman, "Hooker named Lay person of the year." You gotta work if you wanna eat so remember boys and girls, "Starvation can lead to health hazards." So, "Students cook and serve grandparents." Sounds tough and chewy, but hey nobody will starve. I need to rinse my mouth...🍺 And in case you're worried I'd leave out where Democracy goes to die, "Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, austere religious scholar, dies at 48." No worries though if that somehow bothered you by painting an incorrect portrait of the recently blown to bits scholar, WaPo changed it to read, "Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, extremist leader of Islamic State, dies at 48." Remember he was more than just a crazy, Islamic, terrorist dirtbag... he was a cave dwelling terrorist who would have voted against Trump.
Of course the first headline is in keeping with some of their others like "Joseph Stalin, advocate of strong working party and population control dies at 74." Or, "Attila the Hun, world traveler and government administrator, dies at 47." And of course this headline since not a day goes by when his name isn't brought up, "Adolph Hitler, passionate community planner and public speaker, dies in wife's arms at 56." And in case you're wondering if this kind of news could lead to competing news agencies to get up in arms over the competition for the gullible reader, 2 sites well known for their fake news, The Babylon Bee and CNN recently squared off over this headline, "CNN attacks Babylon Bee: The internet is only big enough for one fake news site." Disgruntled CNN reporters complained that their news was much faker. Ok take it easy boys.... plenty of fake news to go around. There's a lot of news out there, and a lot of news with conviction, and a lot of news with conviction and a biased agenda, and a lot of news who's writers should be convicted, because they're just Goebbels🐀 running on the wheel of misinformation. Tough to discern. So my suggestion is to take your news with a grain of salt, lime and big shot of tequila. Look at it for the laughs, then either line the puppy cage or start a nice warm fire, pour a nice Rutherford Cab🍷, put on some Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit and I Hope the High Road is where I find you...
See now there's the kind of news we can use.📰 A real story about real people with real problems. You know like how do you screw up so royally bad? A potential future King of England👑 (yeah I know... about 100 people need to get whacked first... try calling the Clintons) meets Cinderella (Meg Markle)👠👸, marry and have a prince👶 then decided too much... they want out... will give up the family business of waving to large crowds🤚, and somehow earn their own money...in CANADA🇨🇦! I hear there's a lot of money in maple syrup. Of course it's a tough world out there, but you do have to commend these millennials for moving out of their parents basement🏰 and trying life on their own dime without their million dollar allowance💰... well maybe, we'll see!
Of course the point of all this is the problem of discerning real news and fake news and of course fake fake news sometimes called parody🤔. In fact the lines have gone murky and gray. Just like this blogs title...a statement that was supposed to reinforce that particular newspapers impartiality. I think I just choked on my beer...🍺🤮! Well we may have gone far afield from those noble 7 words but... oh well. Journalism has undertaken a decidedly yellow taint. Now there's news you can use and news better for refuse...you know like the Washington comPost, the Old Gray Lady if you're with her, or Bloomberg if you like your propaganda more along the lines of the billionaire socialist bent. Of course you can also choose to get your version of the news from any of the many alternative sources from all across the political, geographic and subject matter spectrum. Or maybe you prefer the slightly more believable Parody sites like the Onion, or Babylon Times, or Genius Times. The fact is in today's world of headlines you'd be hard put to discern the real from the false🤥. Fill your glass 🍸and I'll give you some examples...I'll leave it to you to figure out the veracity. "NYT endorses Amy Klobacher and Elizabeth Warren for president, citing Warren as a gifted storyteller."
Then those pesky science deniers, "Denver Post columnist fired after arguing there are two sexes." Of course competition for the next DNC lamb for slaughter just got tougher, "Deceased Iranian General Soleimani surges into 4th in Democrat Primary."
This one stinks, "Cop makes arrest in bathroom after smelling crack."🚽 And where's Planned Parenthood and eugenics when you need them, "State population to double by 2040; babies to blame." And speaking of civil unrest and racist governors... weren't we?...Ralph Northam claims: "a militia assembling to defend their rights against tyranny is a dangerous first in American history."
If you don't believe that just ask the squaw, "Elizabeth Warren opens casino to help finance campaign." Or ask a working woman, "Hooker named Lay person of the year." You gotta work if you wanna eat so remember boys and girls, "Starvation can lead to health hazards." So, "Students cook and serve grandparents." Sounds tough and chewy, but hey nobody will starve. I need to rinse my mouth...🍺 And in case you're worried I'd leave out where Democracy goes to die, "Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, austere religious scholar, dies at 48." No worries though if that somehow bothered you by painting an incorrect portrait of the recently blown to bits scholar, WaPo changed it to read, "Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, extremist leader of Islamic State, dies at 48." Remember he was more than just a crazy, Islamic, terrorist dirtbag... he was a cave dwelling terrorist who would have voted against Trump.
Of course the first headline is in keeping with some of their others like "Joseph Stalin, advocate of strong working party and population control dies at 74." Or, "Attila the Hun, world traveler and government administrator, dies at 47." And of course this headline since not a day goes by when his name isn't brought up, "Adolph Hitler, passionate community planner and public speaker, dies in wife's arms at 56." And in case you're wondering if this kind of news could lead to competing news agencies to get up in arms over the competition for the gullible reader, 2 sites well known for their fake news, The Babylon Bee and CNN recently squared off over this headline, "CNN attacks Babylon Bee: The internet is only big enough for one fake news site." Disgruntled CNN reporters complained that their news was much faker. Ok take it easy boys.... plenty of fake news to go around. There's a lot of news out there, and a lot of news with conviction, and a lot of news with conviction and a biased agenda, and a lot of news who's writers should be convicted, because they're just Goebbels🐀 running on the wheel of misinformation. Tough to discern. So my suggestion is to take your news with a grain of salt, lime and big shot of tequila. Look at it for the laughs, then either line the puppy cage or start a nice warm fire, pour a nice Rutherford Cab🍷, put on some Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit and I Hope the High Road is where I find you...
I've heard enough of the white man's blues
I've sang enough about myself
So if you're looking for some bad news
You can find it somewhere else
Last year was a son of a bitch
For nearly everyone we know
But I ain't fighting with you down in the ditch
I'll meet you up here on the road
I've sang enough about myself
So if you're looking for some bad news
You can find it somewhere else
Last year was a son of a bitch
For nearly everyone we know
But I ain't fighting with you down in the ditch
I'll meet you up here on the road
I know you're tired
And you ain't sleeping well
Uninspired
And likely mad as hell
But wherever you are
I hope the high road leads you home again
To a world you want to live in
And you ain't sleeping well
Uninspired
And likely mad as hell
But wherever you are
I hope the high road leads you home again
To a world you want to live in
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