Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves

Beware of hanging out in bars that have a sign over the urinal that warn about eating the big white mint, Antoinette. 

It's the autumnal equinox today which means that pretty much the entire 3rd Rock🌎 from the sun🌝,  besides the Poles🧭🇵🇱 that is (those guys are too busy making vodka🍸 and remembering why they aren't celebrating Oktoberfest🍻 with their western neighbor🇩🇪, ach du liebe), are experiencing 12 hours of light and 12 hours of dark. In other words today is the transition to fall when serving white🥂 and red wine🍷 is equally appropriate, and nobody will scoff at your white leather loafers as far as you know😝. The 23rd also marks a couple of other important days....or so they tell me. You have the beloved National Snack Stick Day and you also have National Restless Leg Awareness Day. I'm thinking ladies, and you guys back me up on this one, that any significant other/decent person would recognize that once they are aware of someone's restless leg, they should immediately offer some stick snacking.🤔🙊🙉🙈  But hey, I realize we aren't living in Emily Post's world of polite society anymore🌎. And if the party in question happens to be XX👙, then remember men that today is also National Great American Pot Pie Day🥘...I really don't even know what that means, but I do know pie is always good🥧, and sometimes my euphemisms are out there... and if you don't like that, no worries... just wait because tomorrow we celebrate National Cherry [Jubilation] Day and who doesn't want a piece of that Jubilation?🍒... waiting is often the best choice... yeah I know #metoo. As I was saying, we are near the end of September which means more of the usual... climate change is really happening, and global warming is on break. 

We have a little over 13 months until the next election which means the dems will make up 13 more reasons to impeach their "Orange is the new Black" 👤character even when it's not in their best interest. It makes me wonder if Antonio Brown #AB84 is their new chief strategist...other than the #AOC that is, who thank God, stood up this week on behalf of DC voting rights because it's unconstitutional that they are denied the vote! Which of course it would be if they didn't have the right to vote... which also btw, always goes to her party. But I'm sure this is an honest and one time mistake of ignorance... not like she would ever spew any other retarded ideas. Nah!🤔 There is also the consistency of Berniefeels, who is promising more tax payer funded free stuff along with that super wealthy land owning native ally of the middle class person of color who promises much but won't say how or how much it's going to cost the middle class. #Fauxahontas. Actually, you have to give some props to Bernie's commitment to bring parity to the NFL. He believes that all teams who win over 12 games this year should redistribute their excess wins to the Miami Dolphins and any other winless, worthless team. How nice!🤥 Makes you wonder why socialism never works. At least #shutdowndc will work right? I mean since when is disrupting a Monday morning commute of hungover football fans during rush hour for people who don't live in basements and have to pay bills by people looking for their Instagram moment so they can virtually signal about their rebellious lifestyle to all 11 of their "friends" who were actually there with them never not a good idea? And isn't an idling car more environmentally hazardous than a car already parked, and isn't it more wasteful if said driver, possibly government worker isn't working hard at their tax paid job because they're stuck in traffic at a faux protest by faux protestors who will leave eventually and share their war stories over a faux coffee with their fellow baristas? I could run on and on, but I think those sentences will suffice. At least it gets them out of the house for awhile and hopefully doesn't trigger any road rage...I'd hate to see any of their scooters damaged. But hey, enough of that... it's fall, the leaves are changing🍁, the weather is beautiful, some of our teams (mine) are doing great. The pennant race is in full gear and October baseball⚾️ is just around the corner to supplement football🏈 season. Life is good, America is still great, and booze 🍸still cures what ails you... mostly. So when you find yourself standing next to one of the basement dwelling rebellious baristas☕ who don't bathe as often as they should🤭😷, remember alcohol 🍺is a disinfectant. It's also a good idea to Cher, she knows from experience... besides fauxistas, it's worked with other Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves!

Gypsy's, tramps, and thieves
We'd hear it from the people of the town
They'd call us gypsy's, tramps, and thieves
But every night all the men would come around
And lay their money down

I never had schoolin' but he taught me well
With his smooth southern style
Three months later I'm a gal in trouble
And I haven't seen him for a while, uh-huh
I haven't seen him for a while, uh-huh

She was born in the wagon of a travellin' show
Her mama had to dance for the money they'd throw
Grandpa'd do whatever he could
Preach a little gospel, sell a couple bottles of doctor good