The Essential Questions of Our Time.

Hey Antoinette have you heard this one? Two almonds walk into a bar and order 20 shots of tequila each. Bartender says, "what are you guys, nuts?"🙉

Good morning boys and girls. Though we are on the wrong side of the summer solstice, summer's just beginning so keep your outlook rosy to match your skin tone 🏖and that Rosé in your glass🍷. Remember, global warming is only occurring in the Northern hemisphere🌎 this time of year so take advantage. Let the southern hemisphere and Westeros worry about winter coming☃️. It's also good to remember that while there's lots of fun to be had in the sun🏄‍♂️, it's a good idea to take a break now and then, go somewhere shady⛱, sip on a relaxing adult beverage🍹, and maybe contemplate the essential questions of our time. 🤔

Questions like if according to the science deniers there are multiple sexes, how can you be bisexual? I mean what's the B doing there? #LGBTQ Hmmm! Can you cry under water?😭 Or, how important do you have to be for it to be assassinated instead of murdered🤺, and who decides? Or, when I put my 2 cents in, but I'm only getting a penny for my thoughts where does half the money go?🏛 A secret slush fund to elect nimrods?💵 Speaking of which, how does a freshman in Congress think she deserves a pay raise while making 4 times the average salary, demean the $5000 raise as nothing, and then posited that without raises she and other reps would be forced to embrace cronyism and bribes?💰And are all concentration camps made from frozen concentrate? 🍊 #AOC.  I was also wondering why do people say sleep like a baby as a good thing? 🛌🤱Don't babies wake up every couple hours? And speaking of prepositions, why are actors in the movies📽, but on TV📺? Do you think a hearse on the way to a funeral could go HOV⚰? Or, why would you flee a country with a crappy government🇸🇴 then work to install it in your new country🇺🇸? #IlhanOmar.  Do you think we should investigate that if corn oil comes from corn🌽 and vegetable oil🥕 from vegetables... then where does baby oil come from?👶🙈 Speaking of which, if we discovered a fertilized egg on Mars, would Planned Parenthood not think life was discovered on another planet? 🙊And would that solve the chicken/egg arguement? And speaking of the horizontal mambo and getting there🛏... why is bra singular despite the plurality of its purpose, and panties plural? 👙 And speaking of bras we get to possibly the quintessential question of our time...how do you milk an almond🍼? Or even tell that they're lactating? And assuming only female almonds provide milk, what kind of eyesight is required to distinguish almond sexes? Furthermore, how many almonds are necessary to provide a gallon of milk🍶 and are we leaving enough for the baby almonds?🤔 I used to think I wanted to be a farmer👨‍🌾, but I'm positive my hands are too big to milk an almond🖐. Of course if you don't like the thought of almond milk, just imagine if they called it nut juice🤮. What if you owned an almond farm, would you drink milk from your own nuts? 🤭How about if you owned a banana farm?😱 (Ah, see what I did there). Also, what about the environmental impact from all those California almond trees sucking up the scarce water from aquifers🏜? Well I heard that if you care about the earth, and eating healthy then you should try macadamia milk. It comes from down under🇦🇺, and is free range, dairy free, gluten free and non GMO! Of course if the world is taken over by "nut jobs" and we go that route, then the question becomes what to do with unemployed dairy cows🐄? I guess they'll have to survive on tips only? (Think about it, 🤣)🙉 I don't know, it's all so udderly confusing. 🙉I think I'll stick to dairy as my milk choice for my Cap'n Crunch🍲, beer🍺 for golf🏌️‍♂️ and happy hour, martinis for my cocktail hour🍸,  wine with dinner🍷, and whiskey for after dinner contemplation with my cigar. And while I love my nuts🥜, I think I'll live a happy life with my nuts raw(otherwise known as Almond Joy)😉, and frankly would be glad to see the end of the nutjobs. I guess that's what elections are for🗳. Oh well, maybe I should go to Eric's Church ⛪and think about all this... maybe ask one more question. How about you?...

Yeah, I know where I come from

How 'bout you?
I don't need baggy clothes
Or rings in my nose to be cool
Yeah, the scars on my knuckles match these scuffs on these cowboy boots
There's a whole lot more like me
How 'bout you?
Yeah, I punch the clock trying' to make it to the top, how 'bout you?
I ain't got no blue-blood trust fund I can dip in to
Yeah, I wish Uncle Sam would give a damn about the man who's collar's blue
But if he don't, hell, I'll make it on my own
How 'bout you?