Founding Fathers

Remember what Dad said Antoinette, a little bit of dirt never hurt anyone. Besides that's where wine comes from.

Good morning my fellow Americans. And speaking of such it's a good week to remember the root of our being. In others words, our founding fathers. When the weekend gets here this week we get to first celebrate our Founding Fathers and the birth of the Stars and Stripes🇺🇸 on Flag Day, then on Sunday we get to celebrate Dad😎. Now last month we celebrated mothers😇, the yin in the duality of the universe that represents soft and yielding... the receiver📥😉. We did the brunch thing🍳, sipped on a mimosa🥂 and were on our best behavior because hey...we're talking about mothers here🤫. But this week we get to celebrate fathers, the yang of the universe that represents hard and solid...the giver📤🔌. And probably the root of yingyang?🤔🗼 Of course it's this duality of the universe that gives life. All the other initials just give a lifestyle... sorry #lgbtqexpialidocious🏳️‍🌈!

 Now of course both play vital roles in perpetuating this balance. For instance the mother's retort to a smart aleck son is, "wait until your father gets home," while the dad's response to a daughter with a question about dating is at first, "no!", but after relentless pestering resigns himself to the inevitable fall back position, "I don't know, go ask your mother." Ignorance is bliss, even if feigned ignorance. So typically speaking, mothers provide the nurturing and fathers provide the toughening. And while mothers will want to "talk to you about it,"💁‍♀️ dads will demonstrate their toughness by example while saying very little like🙅‍♂️, "no I don't need to call the repairman. Walk it off. I don't need a doctor. Don't worry it's not a tumor. I don't know, go ask your mother!" Now because of this duality, Father's Day doesn't necessitate the same attention to detail as Mother's Day. Dads don't care if they get gifts or not. Chances are if they want something they'll just go get it...that's called self reliance junior! And dads don't care if they're feted.🎉 It's Sunday, they don't want to spend the day dressed up and out all afternoon...that's what moms like. Now that's not to say dads don't appreciate gifts and spending time with those that made him a father, they just prefer to do it in one of a couple places, doing a couple things. Dad's enjoy the classic dad outings and dad gifts. A round of golf🏌️‍♂️, a baseball game⚾️, booze🍸 and cigars, then home to watch the US Open🏌️‍♂️ with more booze🍸 and cigars. Also don't worry about dinner out or cooking... it might be Father's Day, but it's dad's grill...he's got this🧯. Btw this kind of day and gift never gets old. That's what dads do... they make things easier for their loved ones. Much like the Founding Fathers made it easy for the rest of us and a good reason to celebrate both this weekend. Washington, Jefferson, Adams, Franklin et al who had a role in the birth of this country🇺🇸. The country that doesn't get hung up on whether we are a Fatherland or a Motherland, because that refers to countries from where the people left and are referring back to which also suggests that if you're one of the "lefties" you'll probably always be miserable. Nobody leaves the good old U.S.of A...unfortunately not even those who threatened to whenever "what happened" happened. Funny that we're the only country in the world where even those who profess to hate it, won't leave it,  #AOC #IlhanOmar #feelthebern. So we just call it 'Merica! MAGA! Americans don't leave except to vacay🏖, or clean up messes because everywhere else is no more than second best, but American Fathers and sons of fathers will risk everything on the shores of other countries to give others a chance to build what we've built.🗽 That's what the flag represents...the best man has to offer to his fellow man🤜🤛...not perfect...just the greatest good for the greatest number. Now of course I know there were founding mothers as well...heck if it wasn't for Betsy Ross 👵we wouldn't be celebrating Flag Day, and if there was a flag it would have been put together with duct tape. But moms were last month.🤱 June is for the proud Daddio's🤴. The kind of men who don't flop, don't seek handouts, don't cry foul, don't expect anything in return and tell the best jokes. Like, "did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere." Or, "How does a penguin build his house? Igloos it together!" And, "why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it!" Finally, "Did you hear what Hollywood said? We can't make movies any longer in a state that doesn't respect women and where guns are such a big part of their lifestyle!" 📽🎬👙Now that's funny. I don't care if you're a dad or not. Dad's are allowed to be hypocritical in the privacy of their own home because they have children to raise and there are nuances involved which is why they parent according to strict guidelines based on a few maxims. For instance, "because I said so," and "don't make me stop this car," and "when I was your age..." and "money doesn't grow on trees," and "you call that music?" And of course, "do as I say, not as I do." But not Hollyweirders...as a father I feel pretty sure that we don't want to take the lessons we teach our children to come from la la land. I also feel pretty sure that if la la land moved their filming location say to Iran, they might learn a lesson or two about the real world instead of hyperventilating on the results of democracy in action. Oh well, leave the tough lessons to dads, they're used to it. And if they don't know go ask you mother. Now junior go get dad another beer!🍺 But remember Dads, like Rodney Atkins says, whether you know it or not they're Watching You...

Driving through town, just my boy and me
With a happy meal in his booster seat
Knowing that he couldn't have the toy
Till his nuggets were gone
A green traffic light turned straight to red
I hit my brakes and mumbled under my breath
As fries went a flying and his orange drink covered his lap
Well, then my four year old said a four letter word
That started with "s, " and I was concerned
So I said, "Son, now where did you learn to talk like that?"

He said, "I've been watching you, dad, ain't that cool?
I'm your buckaroo, I wanna be like you
And eat all my food, and grow as tall as you are
We got cowboy boots and camo pants
Yeah, we're just alike, hey, ain't we dad?
I wanna do everything you do
So I've been watching you."