Competitive Spirit
Have you ever wondered how Siamese twins self isolate Antoinette? Me either.
Well boys and girls times are getting pretty tame around here. What with all the couch sitting, pie hole stuffing, and binge watching shows you didn't even know existed a few weeks ago the herd has grown weaker. Which, btw, is exactly what we don't need at the present time. We need to strengthen the herd, inoculate the populace, expose ourselves to the harsh realities that have tempered our iron will and MAG! What we need to do is restore our competitive spirit. Why had we never heard of all those inane shows on TV, Amazon, Netflix, Skinemax, etc (well maybe you heard of that last ones🙈)... it's because we are Americans...we were watching, playing or dreaming about sports🛌🐟😴! In fact not just sports made for TV, but any competitive situation. It's competition that makes you tough, builds your ego, strengthens your resolve and tests your abilities. Like Bluto said,"when the going gets tough.............................. the tough get going." Afterall, it wasn't over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor." Now hear me out... I'm on a roll. As any good American (and you know who that leaves out) we like to compete over literally everything. Unfortunately, our competitive drive has devolved to singular competitions on our phone with crosswords, soduku, wordscapes, e.t.c. Now I know there are some of you out there who consider trolling on social media and pretending to know caca💩 everyone knows you're too stupid to know counts as competition as usual, but refer to the above parenthetical non-Americans🤫. Besides, they're used to self isolating in the basement. In fact they are so good at it their social life isn't dependent on anyone ever being there. They like to take matters into their own hands so to speak. What's more is if they ever did venture outside, the competitive law of the jungle would just mean they would get eaten first by the lions🦁. Then probably regurgitated🤮, but hey... hyenas gotta eat too. Hairy palms aside the rest of us good Americans need to get back in the saddle and ride to where we're most comfortable... competitions with real stakes🏇. Remember, we are so good at this we have learned to bring competition down to single words. Shotgun! Dibs! First! Ante! And my personal favorite... drink!🍺
And lots of two word challenges as well... prove it, make me, I bet, wanna see, and of course the famous two word end of discussion when you're tired and just ready to throw down...F-you🖕! Now my solution for this is obvious and will give you enough social distancing space to satisfy the most shrill of M/GSDSJW's (masked/gloved social distancing social justice warriors)... first if you live in Virginia play golf🏌️♂️ like usual because hey we aren't stupid like Terps🐢 nor teetotalers like the Pennsylvanian I Didn't Know the Whole State was Amish sect👴👵. Second if you're in Virginia... play golf, and bet on your round with your fellow normal Americans🇺🇸. And third, if you're in Virginia play golf, bet, and chug a beer🍻 every time someone makes birdie if you're good... cheers, par if you're ok🍻... cheers, and every hole if you stink... drink up, cheers🍻... because you might as well enjoy your round. Remember boys and girls... there are three things you don't have to be good at to enjoy... golf🏌️♂️, fishing🎣, and the horizontal mambo👄😉. For that matter any angled mambo is included! Now for those of you who don't have access to a golf course or no clubs... then I suggest you take the one competition that travels better than any other...betting. We're Americans we bet on everything...we bet on the Gatorade at the superbowl, the length of the National Anthem, and if the AOC could spell cat if you spot her the C and the A.🤔 And since we want to be socially aware I suggest you do three things to ensure your home based betting is fun and safe... stock up on alcohol🍾🍷🍸🍹🍺🍻🥂, keep your gathering to 10 bettors, and center your fun around a beer pong table... that's 8 feet M/GSDSJW's. What better way to get your competitive spirit back, while strengthening the herd, and self vaccinating than competitive drinking games? Who knows... even if you're not that good you might get lucky depending on who else is there... just remember no means no, yeah #metoo. So whether you prefer beer pong, corners, flip cup, or maybe old fashioned standbys like quarters, card games or just watch a Biden telecast and drink every time he says something incoherent...in which case collect everyone's keys... nobody will be driving home tonight. In other words...stay competitive. We all need to keep our skills sharply honed for when the Wuhan Wham Bam is over... because when this is over the bar scene will be like a Tijuana Saturday night and you'll be competing with the Baha Men and answering the timeless question of Who Let The Dogs Out
Well boys and girls times are getting pretty tame around here. What with all the couch sitting, pie hole stuffing, and binge watching shows you didn't even know existed a few weeks ago the herd has grown weaker. Which, btw, is exactly what we don't need at the present time. We need to strengthen the herd, inoculate the populace, expose ourselves to the harsh realities that have tempered our iron will and MAG! What we need to do is restore our competitive spirit. Why had we never heard of all those inane shows on TV, Amazon, Netflix, Skinemax, etc (well maybe you heard of that last ones🙈)... it's because we are Americans...we were watching, playing or dreaming about sports🛌🐟😴! In fact not just sports made for TV, but any competitive situation. It's competition that makes you tough, builds your ego, strengthens your resolve and tests your abilities. Like Bluto said,"when the going gets tough.............................. the tough get going." Afterall, it wasn't over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor." Now hear me out... I'm on a roll. As any good American (and you know who that leaves out) we like to compete over literally everything. Unfortunately, our competitive drive has devolved to singular competitions on our phone with crosswords, soduku, wordscapes, e.t.c. Now I know there are some of you out there who consider trolling on social media and pretending to know caca💩 everyone knows you're too stupid to know counts as competition as usual, but refer to the above parenthetical non-Americans🤫. Besides, they're used to self isolating in the basement. In fact they are so good at it their social life isn't dependent on anyone ever being there. They like to take matters into their own hands so to speak. What's more is if they ever did venture outside, the competitive law of the jungle would just mean they would get eaten first by the lions🦁. Then probably regurgitated🤮, but hey... hyenas gotta eat too. Hairy palms aside the rest of us good Americans need to get back in the saddle and ride to where we're most comfortable... competitions with real stakes🏇. Remember, we are so good at this we have learned to bring competition down to single words. Shotgun! Dibs! First! Ante! And my personal favorite... drink!🍺
And lots of two word challenges as well... prove it, make me, I bet, wanna see, and of course the famous two word end of discussion when you're tired and just ready to throw down...F-you🖕! Now my solution for this is obvious and will give you enough social distancing space to satisfy the most shrill of M/GSDSJW's (masked/gloved social distancing social justice warriors)... first if you live in Virginia play golf🏌️♂️ like usual because hey we aren't stupid like Terps🐢 nor teetotalers like the Pennsylvanian I Didn't Know the Whole State was Amish sect👴👵. Second if you're in Virginia... play golf, and bet on your round with your fellow normal Americans🇺🇸. And third, if you're in Virginia play golf, bet, and chug a beer🍻 every time someone makes birdie if you're good... cheers, par if you're ok🍻... cheers, and every hole if you stink... drink up, cheers🍻... because you might as well enjoy your round. Remember boys and girls... there are three things you don't have to be good at to enjoy... golf🏌️♂️, fishing🎣, and the horizontal mambo👄😉. For that matter any angled mambo is included! Now for those of you who don't have access to a golf course or no clubs... then I suggest you take the one competition that travels better than any other...betting. We're Americans we bet on everything...we bet on the Gatorade at the superbowl, the length of the National Anthem, and if the AOC could spell cat if you spot her the C and the A.🤔 And since we want to be socially aware I suggest you do three things to ensure your home based betting is fun and safe... stock up on alcohol🍾🍷🍸🍹🍺🍻🥂, keep your gathering to 10 bettors, and center your fun around a beer pong table... that's 8 feet M/GSDSJW's. What better way to get your competitive spirit back, while strengthening the herd, and self vaccinating than competitive drinking games? Who knows... even if you're not that good you might get lucky depending on who else is there... just remember no means no, yeah #metoo. So whether you prefer beer pong, corners, flip cup, or maybe old fashioned standbys like quarters, card games or just watch a Biden telecast and drink every time he says something incoherent...in which case collect everyone's keys... nobody will be driving home tonight. In other words...stay competitive. We all need to keep our skills sharply honed for when the Wuhan Wham Bam is over... because when this is over the bar scene will be like a Tijuana Saturday night and you'll be competing with the Baha Men and answering the timeless question of Who Let The Dogs Out
The party was nice the party was pumping
Ah yepee ah yo
And everybody having a ball
Yepee ah yo
And tell the fellas stop the name callin'
Yepee ah yo
Then them girls respond to the call
I hear a woman shout outâ?¦
Ah yepee ah yo
And everybody having a ball
Yepee ah yo
And tell the fellas stop the name callin'
Yepee ah yo
Then them girls respond to the call
I hear a woman shout outâ?¦
Who let the dogs out
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out
Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof
Who let the dogs out
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