Corona🍺🦇Virus, etc.
Don't worry if you look fat this Tuesday, it's Mardi Gras Antoinette.
Well America it's Fat Tuesday and you know what that means. It's time to load up on all that stuff you're gonna give up as your penance for Shrove Tuesday. Coincidentally, if you like your nuts covered in chocolate it's also National Chocolate Covered Nuts Day and, gentleman back me up on this, there's nothing wrong with a little mess where consuming nuts are concerned so be sure to share your nuts with any interested and consenting parties, yeah #metoo🙈. Remember too, that Lent is the time to give up things that may be bad for you which of course means you cannot give up wine🍷. It's healthy, life affirming, cognitively inducing, tastes great and was JC's first miracle🙏. So if you want to be healthy, smart, and in the Almighty's good graces then keep drinking the wine🙌. However, that still leaves the issue as to what harmful, sinful, unhealthy things should you give up. Let me point you in the right direction with what I'm giving up. But first let's kick off the Mardi Gras celebration 🎉🍾🍷🍸🍹🍺🍻🥂.
Ok, the first unhealthy vice should be obvious...put going to China on the top of your list of what to AVOID for AT LEAST the next 40 days. Now don't get me wrong, I've had the Corona Virus before, as well as the Dos Equis, Modelo, Pacifico etc.🍺, but with tolerable after effects🤕. Unfortunately this strain appears to put Montezuma's revenge to shame🤮, by replacing it with one of last centuries most notorious mass murderers and #BernieBros posterboy, Mao's Revenge☠🇨🇳. Apparently, instead of putting a lime in the Corona sold in Wuhan, they are putting in bats 🦇. No bueno. Btw, is it me or did the Hong Kong protests just disappear? 🤔 Connection? Conspiracy? Makes you wonder? Ok, next up...I am giving up feeling the need for at least the next 40 days of building a homemade rocket🚀 out of junk parts from the dump to launch thousands of feet above the surface to take a picture of what I'm betting will prove to be a flat earth🤔🌎. If you want to perpetuate the flat earth conspiracy you should just stay home and take a picture of a fold out map. I wonder if anybody suggested this to Mad Mike Hughes (may he R.I.P), or that he could just get in a plane on a sunny day and see for himself in a high altitude flyover? Maybe climb a tall mountain with a clear view? ⛰ Imagine if this guy wasn't bat s$#t crazy(no offense China)...incredibly he built a rocket out of an old refrigerator and tinker toys and couldn't find something more useful to do with his time/life. Hopefully, after 40 days you flat earthers will see in 3-D. Next I'm giving up the Democratic Party🦄 and their debates because I'm not a fan of cannibalism🥩🦴... to chewy and tasteless. Yes you read that right. Or maybe I should say the idea of cannibalism is more accurate. Besides it's hard to pair the right wine unless you're Hannibal Lecter 🍷🙊. I'm actually talking about the Democratic debate stage🎪. Last week in the Silver State it looked like the Donner Party get together... they were eating their own and nothing looked edible. In fact a few of the septuagenarians looked like they may have survived the original trip. Mini Mike was the appetizer of choice... because there's not enough there for a full meal. Biden was left alone, because he basically eats himself every time he talks. And other than blankety blank and Booty Gig🏳️🌈, you're left with the two candidates who are campaigning on which one could make the debate city name's euphemism the most representational of their policies... Lost Wages, Nevada. Squaw Purveyor of Wampum Warren or Bernie I've never made a cent that wasn't tax payer funded millionaire Sanders both have plans to part you from your wallet that would make any pit boss envious. Wait a minute... maybe he does have the secret.🤔 Are you saying that if every single person worked their whole life in an elected position for the government dependent on taxes we'd all be millionaires? It's that easy? And if we could only get Castro to teach us how to read and write we'd be literate, could stay in college until we were 40 and all for free...🤔? I love the sound of free. And if #Berniefeels can do it we all can right? Hmm, I better take some time and think about that🤔, ok.... haha😂 good one. Nobody is that stupid right? Right? Uh oh. Oh well... and finally I think it would be a good idea if everyone afflicted would give up the shrill rants, preening shiboliths and puerile gesticulations during Lent. Ain't nobody got time for that! Drink your wine to lessen the whine and for the next 40 days learn to Cope Julian style and World Shut Your Mouth...
Well America it's Fat Tuesday and you know what that means. It's time to load up on all that stuff you're gonna give up as your penance for Shrove Tuesday. Coincidentally, if you like your nuts covered in chocolate it's also National Chocolate Covered Nuts Day and, gentleman back me up on this, there's nothing wrong with a little mess where consuming nuts are concerned so be sure to share your nuts with any interested and consenting parties, yeah #metoo🙈. Remember too, that Lent is the time to give up things that may be bad for you which of course means you cannot give up wine🍷. It's healthy, life affirming, cognitively inducing, tastes great and was JC's first miracle🙏. So if you want to be healthy, smart, and in the Almighty's good graces then keep drinking the wine🙌. However, that still leaves the issue as to what harmful, sinful, unhealthy things should you give up. Let me point you in the right direction with what I'm giving up. But first let's kick off the Mardi Gras celebration 🎉🍾🍷🍸🍹🍺🍻🥂.
Ok, the first unhealthy vice should be obvious...put going to China on the top of your list of what to AVOID for AT LEAST the next 40 days. Now don't get me wrong, I've had the Corona Virus before, as well as the Dos Equis, Modelo, Pacifico etc.🍺, but with tolerable after effects🤕. Unfortunately this strain appears to put Montezuma's revenge to shame🤮, by replacing it with one of last centuries most notorious mass murderers and #BernieBros posterboy, Mao's Revenge☠🇨🇳. Apparently, instead of putting a lime in the Corona sold in Wuhan, they are putting in bats 🦇. No bueno. Btw, is it me or did the Hong Kong protests just disappear? 🤔 Connection? Conspiracy? Makes you wonder? Ok, next up...I am giving up feeling the need for at least the next 40 days of building a homemade rocket🚀 out of junk parts from the dump to launch thousands of feet above the surface to take a picture of what I'm betting will prove to be a flat earth🤔🌎. If you want to perpetuate the flat earth conspiracy you should just stay home and take a picture of a fold out map. I wonder if anybody suggested this to Mad Mike Hughes (may he R.I.P), or that he could just get in a plane on a sunny day and see for himself in a high altitude flyover? Maybe climb a tall mountain with a clear view? ⛰ Imagine if this guy wasn't bat s$#t crazy(no offense China)...incredibly he built a rocket out of an old refrigerator and tinker toys and couldn't find something more useful to do with his time/life. Hopefully, after 40 days you flat earthers will see in 3-D. Next I'm giving up the Democratic Party🦄 and their debates because I'm not a fan of cannibalism🥩🦴... to chewy and tasteless. Yes you read that right. Or maybe I should say the idea of cannibalism is more accurate. Besides it's hard to pair the right wine unless you're Hannibal Lecter 🍷🙊. I'm actually talking about the Democratic debate stage🎪. Last week in the Silver State it looked like the Donner Party get together... they were eating their own and nothing looked edible. In fact a few of the septuagenarians looked like they may have survived the original trip. Mini Mike was the appetizer of choice... because there's not enough there for a full meal. Biden was left alone, because he basically eats himself every time he talks. And other than blankety blank and Booty Gig🏳️🌈, you're left with the two candidates who are campaigning on which one could make the debate city name's euphemism the most representational of their policies... Lost Wages, Nevada. Squaw Purveyor of Wampum Warren or Bernie I've never made a cent that wasn't tax payer funded millionaire Sanders both have plans to part you from your wallet that would make any pit boss envious. Wait a minute... maybe he does have the secret.🤔 Are you saying that if every single person worked their whole life in an elected position for the government dependent on taxes we'd all be millionaires? It's that easy? And if we could only get Castro to teach us how to read and write we'd be literate, could stay in college until we were 40 and all for free...🤔? I love the sound of free. And if #Berniefeels can do it we all can right? Hmm, I better take some time and think about that🤔, ok.... haha😂 good one. Nobody is that stupid right? Right? Uh oh. Oh well... and finally I think it would be a good idea if everyone afflicted would give up the shrill rants, preening shiboliths and puerile gesticulations during Lent. Ain't nobody got time for that! Drink your wine to lessen the whine and for the next 40 days learn to Cope Julian style and World Shut Your Mouth...
She's flying in the face of fashion now
Seems to have a will of her own
She's flying in the face of fashion, yeah
Seems to have it all chromed
The time was going, so frequently
She said if I try harder again
She's flying in the face of fashion now
Sells the world annually to a friend
Seems to have a will of her own
She's flying in the face of fashion, yeah
Seems to have it all chromed
The time was going, so frequently
She said if I try harder again
She's flying in the face of fashion now
Sells the world annually to a friend
She's singin' world shut your mouth, shut your mouth
Put your head back in the clouds and shut your mouth
World shut your mouth, shut your mouth
Put your head back in the clouds and shut your mouth
Put your head back in the clouds and shut your mouth
World shut your mouth, shut your mouth
Put your head back in the clouds and shut your mouth
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