Immature Humor for Mature Audiences! 🙈🙉🙊

Just think if you warm the planet by burning fossil fuels, then you won't need fossil fuels to warm up thereby saving the planet, Antoinette!

Now that December is upon us, and winter is here

for at least what is it...10 more years? Greta?#AOC? It's also Advent! The season leading up to the birth of that 8 pound 6 ounce new born baby Jesus don't even know a word yet! Of course we all know Jesus was immaculately conceived, but Advent comes from the Latin and means coming, and that's how the rest of us make babies.🙉 Anyway it's cozying up season... and Baby it's cold outside which means there are 2 ways... well 2 fun ways to get warm. Adult beverages 🍻and a little advice from Salt-N-Peppa so let's talk about sex, baby! Since, the as yet not warmed up planet forces us inside, and all that time spent cooped up in a dark tight place in close contact with another will inevitably cause a physical reaction...why do you think you have so much silverware? All that spooning and forking going on (Dad joke 1). 😂 Now of course these days we live in a highly sexualized climate and you can identify sexually anyway you want and with anyone you want, or if you're in a bit of rut in the mating game...you can even take matters into your own hands so to speak and label yourself self partnered like Emma Watson! Of course we all saw that coming considering her choices...nobody wants a Hairy Potter...I prefer the Demi haired potter in Ghost! (Dad Joke 2). So whether you believe in science and the fact that there are 2 baby making genders, or believe in the Baskin Robbins menu of sexual options where there are 2, 3, 7, 16 or 31 flavors of sexual preferences/genders... the choice is yours. I just suggest adding a little holiday sprinkle, or perhaps a sweet sauce to your banana split. 🍌🍨😜 Now in case you weren't aware I'll run through some of the flavors du jour in case you want to change up your advent calendar... but I would also suggest coupling it with a different favorite adult beverage everyday. It's the holiday season and we all know nothing goes better with a stocking stuffing than adult beverages!🙉🍾🍷🍸Now to begin things let's start with the lonely. If you are like Emma and self partnered, then of course you are going to have to rely on yourself...a self- sexual. Now the #LGBTQXPALIDOCIOUS community may define this differently, but let's not kid ourselves, we all know what this is...Self meet Rosy! But beware of harmful side effects... hairy palms etc. 🙊 Remember nearly every hand you shake has had a banana in it...food for thought!🍌Now Asexual I'm confused about .... A sexual what? You mean they don't like anyone? Just show them the S.I. swimsuit edition...centerfolds....or Google a very large sporting goods store...well you figure it out, but if you're asexual then what is the point? Remember, you don't have to make a life, to get a life... get it?🤔 Ok, now for Pansexual. This of course means anyone who can get turned on by anything including a pan which may seem odd, because I've never really seen a sexy pan, but I have seen a sexy panhandler... no not the one at the intersection🤮. Come va Giada!

But as far as pans go, how does that work? I always think of them as cold and rigid, but we do know they can heat up...just butter them up first. And remember, a little oil will keep anything from getting stuck where it's not supposed to. 🍳 Then of course we also have transsexual. While I'm not sure if this refers to transmissions, the hot transfer student, Transylvanians, or the TransAm...I mean that was a hot car... just ask Sheriff Buford T. Justice who was also into role play I guess. 

The important thing to remember is when you're having sex with someone else and presumably they have been asked, and are a conscious, willing participant...I know #metoo... you need to be responsive to their needs. Now I'm not sure how Caitlyn J handles it... well I guess there's no handling anymore now that the famous pole vaulter broke his pole. I wonder if Caitlin would win a sexual assualt case against Bruce?🤔 Actually, I wonder if Bruce would win a sexual assault case and decapitation charge against Caitlin? 🙈🙊🙉  As for the rest of you eating whatever flavor floats your boat... remember "I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!" In other words... share your cream with each other. And in Emma's case and the like who will be scooping their own...maybe just hum a tune like  Hey diddle, diddle... the cat and the fiddle. Or better yet, role play and be the Boss and sing to Rosalita...

I ain't here on business, baby, I'm only here for fun
And Rosie, you're the one

Rosalita, jump a little higher
Senorita, come sit by my fire
I just want to be your lover, ain't no liar
Rosalita, you're my stone desire.