Well to be Frank, I'd have to change my name!

Drink wine because it's important not to keep things bottled up Antoinette

As we all know, paronomasia is a form of word play that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect.🤔 These ambiguities can arise from the intentional use of homophonic, homographic, metonymic, or figurative language. Of course this is different from a malapropism in that a malapropism is an incorrect variation on a correct expression and would be bad  strategery to misunderestimate its importance, while a paranomasia involves expressions with multiple interpretations like the fact that while Joe Biden admits he's known 8 presidents, he's only been intimate with three🙈. Now, now this is the 21st century don't get all homophonic on me! Huh?🙉  Now of course none of this sounds very funny and you may be asking yourself where this is heading and why isn't dry wit😉, dry wine🍷, and dry martinis🍸 involved...no pun intended. 🙊That's right we're talking about the dad 😎jokes of humor. Those moments when kids groan🤪, you're best girl rolls her eyes🙄, and your buddies tell you to shut up and your buying the next round🍻. Beer me!

Unless of course they're a dad and they get it! 😄In other words, it's April Fools Day🤡 every day if you're a dad...at least as far as humor goes, and while puns may be regarded as low humor, they're certainly punny! Get it? Yeah #metoo. Let's break this down. First of all let's look at the homophonic variety...as opposed to the homophobic variety (fear of homos), but actually most people are just threatened by homos because they have never tried it...try it you may like it. Just dip right in and get a mouth full! I like mine spicey. 🙈 Make sure to have plenty of pita bread on hand though, otherwise you'll have to just use your finger☝️. What? That's spelled houmous or hummus, not homos! Dang, I must have been hooked on phonics! See what I did there? How dry was that?😑 Now that will make a believer out of you because that was money 💵even if you believe in that non prophet institution, atheism!👿 You know those people, the same ones who are afraid of Santa, the claustrophobics!🎅 Round of applause please! I love it when I get my own jokes. You must have a chocolate craving, cuz I hear you Snickering out there🍫! Man I crack myself up. Now homographic puns don't necessarily need a NSFW warning in case The Man is around, but be wary because if you're weary you may not realize where he is and homographic puns rely on sight. Kind of like when the smog lifts in California, UCLA! 😉And when the fog lifts in San Fran...never mind that Haight gonna happen... all that Ash will Bury them!🤔😁 I get it, that might deserve a groan! Maybe I need a refill🍺... people tell me I'm funny when I'm drinking as far as I know!🤫 Now of course metonymic puns are just word substitutions, like "how do you like my new ride" for car. Or, "what's the Donald up to now?" for the Prez. Or "when you spell April Fool, do you capitalize all the letters A O C and do you have to use a hashtag?" Or "do you think Fauxcahontas will get the support of Redskin fans?" Hey, I just ask the questions. Of course there are also those tricky compound puns like VD will make you Feel the Bern unless you protect yourself by taking precautions and make reservations to celebrate your love each February. You could probably ask Ms Warren🛶 where the best Reservations are to be made...I hear she has an in, and possibly an Inn there! Or is that a teepee? Just remember, puns about communists aren't funny unless everyone gets them🤔👍🤣 and the problem with political jokes is that sometimes they get elected. I'm here all week, try the veal. Unless you're a vegan, but that would be a missed steak! Sorry if any of this triggered anybody, but just because you're offended doesn't make you right, in fact it will just leave you left with nothing... to smile about. I think it's time I go back to hard liquor, but unfortunately my relationship with whiskey is on the rocks. Ironic the timing huh? And is irony the opposite of wrinkly? Now I'm on a roll, but before I get carried away and make a mountain out of a molehill, it's important to remember mountains aren't just funny, they're hill areas! Haha, LMAO! I hear you... you ain't got no time for that! But be careful, double negatives are a no-no in the English language. Maybe it's time I put a sock in it (metonymic, 😉) after all silence is golden and duct tape is silver, 🙊! Ok I'll end with this last pat on the back...I've done a whole blog and not one mention of the punniest word ever invented, without which we'd all be living a mirthless life, constipated with vitriol, and peopled by anally retentive types whose only release would be the gaseous, bilious swill they regurgitate ad nauseam in tweets, blogs, political speeches and the news. You guessed it, I'm talking about Uranus!💩 Of course, I'm sure you know that the etymology of the word Uranus... it comes from eurythmics which is music to my ears because it's about music and MOVEMENTS! Man I CRACK myself up... thinking of movements... put on some music and lets dance🕺💃...how does that song go? 

Sweet dreams are made of cheese, 

who am I to disa-brie

Wait no...

Sweet dreams are made of this
Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas,
Everybody's looking for something.

Some of them want to use you

Some of them want to be used by you

Some of them want to abuse you

Some of them want to be abused by you