You're killing me Smalls!
And they ask me why I drink Antoinette.
I'm here to kick ass and drink whiskey, and pilgrim I'm out of whiskey! Fill me up barkeep or someone is in trouble! Now you're probably wondering what's got my grundies in a bunch? Why am I yelling at kids to get off my lawn? Well actually I'm not that angry...at least not about kids playing in the yard. In fact I'm all for it...kids need to play outside more, and boys specifically need a place to run around, burn energy and be boys. Play games...catch⚾️, football🏈, hot box, army, cowboys🤠 and Indians, capture the flag, shoot bottle rockets🚀 at each other, play lawn darts and even "smear the queer" back when it just meant the odd guy out with the ball🤔. You know the time somewhere between the Gay '90s🧚♂️ and the AYFKM "woke" 2010s🤬. That's how you began to toughen up to the challenges of life, learn how to compete, maybe get in a fight once in awhile to show you'll stand your ground and face consequences, show off for the other sex🤾♂️ (don't get triggered I grew up in simpler times when science mattered😜) and aspire to making yourself more competitive, stronger, faster, smarter, daring🎢 and proficient at the 7 kinds of farts enumerated by George Carlin🤭. Now SJWs have tried to redefine what biology♂️♀️, evolution and history have created to suit the man bun💇♂️, man purse👜, emasculated mannequin of their dreams from behind their internet firewall, using their Google brain to regurgitate puerile memes, and attack the foundations of not only Western Civilization 💒but biology as well...all because someone once told somebody "they hit like a girl!"🙊🙉🙈 Well you're killing me Smalls...as in small minded, thin skinned, let me go on Oprah and tell you why that statue's 🗿 existence prevents me from being a worthwhile contributor to society. Better make it a double barkeep🍸...or even more insanely/inanely...why we must prevent boys from being boys, thereby men from being men!
🧚♂️ Hmm, maybe they have a point...I mean who doesn't want to live in a world of gender neutral, testosterone barren, emotionally sharing, pinterest pinning, Ellen watching "girly men"? 🙊🙉🙈 Ugh and not the Tom Brady ones! All this because somebody somewhere once got their lunch money taken by a bully, or got picked last for dodgeball and it wasn't fair. Why am I harping on this now you ask? Well take a look at recent "academic" conclusions that have made the headlines. That's academic in the science denying sort of way like it's dated to think biology only allows for two sexes ♂️♀️when the wokes know there are as many as any nut job (that's nut job without any nuts😉) can come up with. Well now according to the journal published by the American Psychological Association..."Traditional masculinity is harmful..." ; then according to another academic journal, "Eating meat promotes toxic masculinity." Not even you vegan 🥑🥦males escape the wrath, "Eating a vegan diet promotes 'white masculinity,' sociologist argues." And don't get me started on you "Crouching tiger, Hidden dragon, Downward dog types" ... "Americans who practice yoga contribute to white supremacy"🤦♂️ according to Michigan State prof. We're all just Spartans I guess (male privilege dad joke🤔😁). Time to wake up world and get your head out of your apps💻😁. I know this is just another ridiculous fad like disco and communism (I guess some nitwits in NYC are feeling nostalgic for stupider times #aoc), but the world needs men...strong men💪, just like the world needs women...strong women🏋️♀️. This yin and yang ☯️has been pretty good at perpetuating the human race, building civilization, providing fodder for comedy shows, and building the foundation of Hef's empire 👙 (yeah #metoo). They do this by complementing each other...not be being each other.🧚♂️ Besides, if men stop being men, what will women do with all that free time from trying to change us? What, that's sexist? Hmm, go figure. Oh well... guess I'm just nostalgic for the good ol' days and a nice slice of American Pie... maybe Don McLean's music will save our mortal soul...
🧚♂️ Hmm, maybe they have a point...I mean who doesn't want to live in a world of gender neutral, testosterone barren, emotionally sharing, pinterest pinning, Ellen watching "girly men"? 🙊🙉🙈 Ugh and not the Tom Brady ones! All this because somebody somewhere once got their lunch money taken by a bully, or got picked last for dodgeball and it wasn't fair. Why am I harping on this now you ask? Well take a look at recent "academic" conclusions that have made the headlines. That's academic in the science denying sort of way like it's dated to think biology only allows for two sexes ♂️♀️when the wokes know there are as many as any nut job (that's nut job without any nuts😉) can come up with. Well now according to the journal published by the American Psychological Association..."Traditional masculinity is harmful..." ; then according to another academic journal, "Eating meat promotes toxic masculinity." Not even you vegan 🥑🥦males escape the wrath, "Eating a vegan diet promotes 'white masculinity,' sociologist argues." And don't get me started on you "Crouching tiger, Hidden dragon, Downward dog types" ... "Americans who practice yoga contribute to white supremacy"🤦♂️ according to Michigan State prof. We're all just Spartans I guess (male privilege dad joke🤔😁). Time to wake up world and get your head out of your apps💻😁. I know this is just another ridiculous fad like disco and communism (I guess some nitwits in NYC are feeling nostalgic for stupider times #aoc), but the world needs men...strong men💪, just like the world needs women...strong women🏋️♀️. This yin and yang ☯️has been pretty good at perpetuating the human race, building civilization, providing fodder for comedy shows, and building the foundation of Hef's empire 👙 (yeah #metoo). They do this by complementing each other...not be being each other.🧚♂️ Besides, if men stop being men, what will women do with all that free time from trying to change us? What, that's sexist? Hmm, go figure. Oh well... guess I'm just nostalgic for the good ol' days and a nice slice of American Pie... maybe Don McLean's music will save our mortal soul...
I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died
With a pink carnation and a pickup truck
But I knew I was out of luck
The day the music died
I started singin'
Bye, bye Miss American Pie
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
Drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry
And them good ole boys were drinking whiskey and rye
Singin' this'll be the day that I die
This'll be the day that I die
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