Drink more, Live longer.

Walk softly and carry a big stick then they won't hear you sneaking up on them Antoinette.

It's that time of year again people. One week into 2019 📆so time for the annual assessment of our new year's resolutions and whether our resolve is any better this year than every other year. Since more often than not resolutions revolve around health 🏋️‍♂️and happiness 😁and how to improve both, I think it's time to ask the important questions. Namely, how long do you actually want to live?👴 Though that may seem like a silly question prima facie, considering the state of current affairs and the fork in the road🎢 we've arrived at, it's not inconceivable that many might opt for the rock and roll fantasy...live fast, die young! YOLO!🕺💃 Afterall, who wants to live in a world where comedians can't be funny, Hollyweird somehow sees themselves as the moral arbiter, MSM can't be honest, the PC Taliban polices individuality👮‍♂️, Congress is led by senile nitwits who somehow got rich on the public dime👵🏛, the Senate has become a comicon convention for Indian cosplay and Spartacus moments🤔😉, and freshman reps with the towering intellect of a middle schooler get elected as a socialist🤡👧#aoc. Covfefe! Makes you wonder if she thinks socialist means someone who really likes going to parties!?🙈 Yeah, #metoo! Well let's leave that kind of whine for those "victims" of the herd who run from scary statues🗿, hide in their shell away from hurtful words🐢 and melt at the idea of personal responsibility❄, but not to worry, they'll get "thinned" first🦁...if you can't deal with the above inconsequentials then go ahead and retreat to your safe space in a basement behind an internet firewall💻🖱 living off soy products and bird food. The rest of us will be outside steeling our constitutions to this "climate change" ☀️🌡🔥with 2 of the 4 main food groups...alcohol🍸 and coffee🍵 and quite possibly living forever!  Well "I'm not stupid, Lucius. No one lives forever. No one. But with advances in modern science and my high level of income, I mean, it's not crazy to think I can't live to be 245, maybe 300." Well truth be told, unlike Ricky Bobby🏎,  I don't have that high a level of income, but science has found the key to living longer.👨‍🔬👩‍🔬 According to the University of California Irvine and a study of aging, people who drank alcohol and or coffee were more likely to live into their 90s and beyond than the abstainers. What's more...people who put on a little weight in their 70s also tended to outlive those who were normal or underweight. So go to the gym and get buff for the time being cuz you'll look better in the buff!💪 But scrap that anti alcohol and caffeine diet🚫... you'll live longer, enjoy life more, probably get lucky a time or two 😍and besides, you're an adult now... that's how you deal with threatening statues, harmful words and puerile rants from the deranged. Remember, wine is a great way to drown out the whine🍷, but sometimes you need something a little stronger...besides liquor is quicker!

It's a new year and that's always a good time for a fresh start. Let's just not forget what makes us happy. Keep the coffee, savor the wine, sip your whiskey and make it a life worth living. If you need inspiration just look to a past politician on the 100th anniversary of his passing, Teddy Roosevelt, a man who lived life, governed passionately and with compassion, won the Medal of Honor🥉, Nobel Peace Prize🏆, built the Panama Canal🛳, explored the world🌎, gave a square deal🤜🤛, wrote books and read one every day📖 and never played the victim or silver spoon card despite opportunity. So follow the model... don't let others tell you how to be. This year resolve to choose strength over weakness, intelligence over stupidity, and optimism over negativism. Then heed the words of another guy who knew something about enjoying life and escaping the oppresiveness of group think, big government, and the self righteous, Bob Marley, who said "love the life you live, live the life you love" then you'll find Redemption in a Song...

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery
None but ourselves can free our minds
Wo! Have no fear for atomic energy
'Cause none of them-a can-a stop-a the time
How long shall they kill our prophets
While we stand aside and look?
Yes, some say it's just a part of it
We've got to fulfill the book
Won't you have to sing
These songs of freedom?
'Cause all I ever had
Redemption songs