The Mother Lode

If you take the art out of earth you're just left with eh, Antoinette.

Spoiler alert

Well it's May 13 and you know what that means...If you're a regular G.O.T. viewer then chances are you went on the Mother of all Benders last night 🍸and per chance woke up with the Mother of all Hangovers 🤕this morning especially if you think Mother's Day should be revered😇. Of course it's also National Fruit Cocktail Day, but I'm not talking about wannabe mothers Caitlyn J, I'm talking about the kind of drinks moms should be having🍹 not these new fangled ideas. When did it become normal for sons to be sharing a bottle of Crown Royal with moms? Next you'll start seeing commercials for "I don't always drink tequila, but when I do it's with mi madre." Huh? Mothers milk shouldn't be harsh!🍼🙈 Apparently, the powers that be behind the G.O.T. got their idea of mothers from Mommie Dearest! And in so doing committed an epic fail by showcasing the Mother of Dragons🐲, in the Mother of All Battles🤺, or should I say Mother of all Massacres, to create the Mother of All Bombs💣💥 to premier on Mother's Day. Hey mom, have a nice day... ain't that a mother#$%@!🙊 Is this where gender equality is taking us? What about harmony? Yin and Yang. Male and Female? Plug and Receptacle? 🙉We're creating a world where the most fearsome thing a kid can hear is their father saying, "I don't know... go ask your mother." 😰 Bring back the WhiteWalkers🧟‍♂️ cuz them "beatches be cray" and way colder than those northern winters above the wall❄! All the mothers and potential mothers are portrayed as cold hearted killers, teetering on the edge of sanity, with psychopathic lusts, single minded vengeance and passive aggressive scheming. In a show that's evolved to where all the top positions of power are held by women you're glad aren't your mother😢...it's a fitting reminder of what gender equality gets you...the equality of death⚰. Yeah I hear you SPCA types, worms gotta eat like everybody else... but if moms are no longer gonna be nurturing, what's gonna happen to "high school" movies like American Pie and classic music like Stacey's Mom where MILFS 👙are central to the overall plot development? 🙈🙉🙊 You know.... the good ol days like around One Million Years BC and mothers like Raquel Welch! 

Apparently, in G.O.T., not only do the XX's want equal pay for equal mayhem, they want to outdo Saddam Hussein for the title of Mother of all Villains🧛‍♀️...Mother#$%@! Not to mention in 8 years of character development, viewers were prepared for Cersei's lunatic fringe behavior🧟‍♀️... you always have to have one Femme Fatale Mean Girl, but to send Dani over the edge in just 2 shows, hint at Sansa's scheming for power, and reveal that Arya would rather kill with her dainty sword🤺 than settle for the love of a Sword making🗡 King🤴, with Princess 👸status and a palace full of Louboutins.👠 Huh? That ain't reality TV in the 90210! Instead, Arya's slippers are only ruby cuz they're filled with blood. Hmm? Call me sexist if you like, but I prefer my mothers and potential mothers (not you Caitlyn J) to be a little more motherly, and not in the cold blooded I gave birth to 3 flying reptiles🐲 with flame thrower 🔥breath mold. Remember G.O.T. folks... it's equality of opportunity not likeness or outcome. Leave the Gotterdamerung to Wagner, the Norse Gods and Siegfried, and let Brunhilde and the Rhine Maidens provide the soft pillows... yeah #metoo. Scheming is allowed, but loving the smell of napalm in the morning should not be high on the list for mother's little helper. Go with a nice Rosé, or sparkling brut🍾. Remember guys are gonna be guys. They're gonna drink whiskey, chug beers, scratch in public, get in fights, lie about their golf game, use the outdoor facilities, etc. But in order for harmony to exist, the world is gonna need the balance that only the yin can give the yang... you know a place to come home🔩. The yin provides the new (think birth... mothers👶) and the yang provides the solidity🗼 (think about all those embarrassing commercials at dinner time...fatherhood). Now you have harmony! Save the miseries of Gotterdamerung and the apocalypse to bad nachtmares and R.E.M. and don't ruin Mother's Day by crying It's The End of the World As We Know It...

Six o'clock, T.V. hour, don't get caught in foreign tower
Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn
Lock him in uniform, book burning, bloodletting
Every motive escalate, automotive incinerate
Light a candle, light a motive, step down, step down
Watch your heel crush, crush, uh oh
This means no fear, cavalier, renegade and steering clear
A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies
Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline

It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it (I had some time alone)
It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine (time I had some time alone)
I feel fine (I feel fine)