Madder than a March Hare

Spring is sprung so let the pollinating begun Antoinette.

Let the madness begin! Well to be truthful, there's been a lot of crazy already happening this year and not just in the swamp🐸... though that is a special kind of madness. Like those that "Feel the Bern" and want to fix government corruption by drastically increasing its size and control over our lives. Huh?🤔 Or the freshman congresswoman badly in need of a makeover and dental reduction 🐗who wants to go shopping with the public money...in economic terms that's known as a Neiman Marxist! 😂 No, I'm talking about a different kind of madness... the kind that returns every spring and reflects the pent up energy of winter hibernation, and promise of longer days, warmer temps and the potential "matchups" for those still standing and going on in the Big Dance🕺💃 🏀and those getting prone and doing the horizontal mambo🛏💋💥🙈! So now that the March winds are blowing and God (without the help of carbon and cow farts🐮) is turning up the heat, it's about to get crazy hot up in here☀️! Which means we are in that transition period of switching from adult beverages meant to warm you up🍸, towards those that cool you off🍹. In other words...time to go from warming up by the fire with that special someone and a hot toddy🥃 to cooling off with a refreshing beverage 🍺after seeing a hot totty in her warm weather apparel (just think Bennie Hill). Remind me again who's against global warming? 👙Yeah #metoo. Time to take this party outside!

Anyway, we officially kick off spring and madness this week. The vernal equinox 🌓will take place in the midst of the first day of March Madness🏀...and teams and brackets will be vying for bragging rights😜 and payoffs💵. A dream come true for some and a nightmare for others, just remember sports adage #1...win or lose you booze!🍾 It's also a good time to reflect back on the innocence that the college experience used to connote🤓 before all these unseemly payoffs, cheating and questionable admissions practices by the elite for the elite.🤑 You know the good ol days, when the only way underachievers could get into college was either Daddy paid for a new library🏛, you had a 40" vertical⛹️‍♂️, or your mom, Ms Gump, had a "meeting" with Dean Wormer😘! Speaking of good and evil, I know I don't have to tell you, but the first day of spring also marks Nowruz, otherwise known as New Year's Day for all you non Zoroastrians out there. The day when the sun takes daylight and warmth back from old man winter☃️ and the zest for life is renewed...and by zest I mean the "madder than a March Hare" kind of zest😜 which has nothing to do with anger, and little to do with crazy except in the sense of..."hey Bugs, you see that little Jenny over there? I'm crazy for that cottontail!" (That's known as the rabbit hole of double entendres... get it ?) 🙈🙉🙊🐇 The statement, breed like rabbits, may be a stereotype and species profiling, but it didn't come from nothing! 🙉Now the question is how do I get out of this rabbit hole! Guess I'll go ask Alice👯‍♀️. Besides, bunnies will be more important in the center of my April issue! You'll just have to wait and see how that folds out. I mean unfolds. You know... the Easter issue! But I digress, meanwhile back at the ranch, (that's known as a deplorable segue) the Zoroastrians saw all life as a battle between good😇 and evil 👹overseen by the divine creator🗿... he doesn't throw flags, call fouls and he doesn't need instant replay⚖...but he will smite any unruly behavior or protests🗡, so if you kneel... it better be in earnest! This is also a good time to take advantage of the 4th New Year's🎉 of the year at least for us Americans. We've had regular, extra Orthodox, Asian and now Zoroastrian... meaning we should be getting pretty good at this resolution stuff by now. And I think it's important that what we resolve should be beneficial, helpful and healthy. And I've always said everything in life that makes you stronger and smarter is good, and weaker and dumber is bad. So my resolutions are to drink more Guinness🍺 because it's healthy and tastes great, drink more liquor🍸 because when I do my flirty game is strong, i.e. "Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs still exist, right?" Drink more wine because when I drink wine I know things🍷 and finally enjoy good cigars because that's beneficial to cigar makers and helpful in stress reduction. So be resolute in your resolve to keep your resolutions! And now that I know things I think it's time to fill out my bracket. In fact, maybe I still got a little luck of the Irish🇨🇮 leftover.... maybe I should find a card game♠️♥️ and try my luck. I'll just ask Kenny... he's The Gambler

For a taste of your whiskey
I'll give you some advice...

Every gambler knows
That the secret to survivin'
Is knowin' what to throw away
And knowin' what to keep
'Cause every hand's a winner
And every hand's a loser
And the best that you can hope for is to die
in your sleep...

You've got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
And know when to run
You never count your money
When you're sittin' at the table
There'll be time enough for countin'
When the dealin's done