Year of the Pig

Scientifically, whiskey is a solution Antoinette.

Well that was a big weekend, with more big things to come. Of course you know what I'm talking about...Punxsutawney Phil🦔 didn't see his shadow so the end of winter is in sight🌞. Of course that's welcome relief to all those suffering from frigid weather❄☃️. In fact it's been so cold that Chicago politicians are keeping their hands in their own pockets🤦‍♂️.  It's even more frigid  than the reception Weinstein received at the women's March🙊, and Bill got when he tried to "climb the Hill" after a late night at the Oval Office breaking in interns🙈. Yeah #metoo.

But the coldspell has broken...and this week means bring on the heat. I'm not talking the kind of heat Gov. Northam brought on himself for promoting infanticide, black face, KKK and his ability to moonwalk as good as Michael. (Isn't it ironic that Northam donned blackface to look like Michael and Michael spent his last years trying to look white... Northam perhaps? ) This was after campaigning that the other guy👉 👎was the racist. If it weren't for double standards some people would have no standards. Anyway, what I'm talking about is the kind of heat that warms your cockles (and I'm not talking about clams, well maybe😉🙉). In fact this week is cause for a celebration because for all those who either didn't make any resolutions, or have already failed on the ones you made New Year's Eve, you get a chance at a redo...because tomorrow we celebrate the Chinese New Year🎉, so out with the Dog Days of 2018🐶, because it's time to start acting in your own self interest...bring on the Year of the Pig🐷. This year should be all about bacon, bbq, and a swinish amount of booze to wash it down. Even A. Grande 👩‍🎤got in the spirit by getting BBQ tattooed on her wrist in Japanese♌♍♏...of course she meant it to say something else, but somehow Google🤥 led her astray, what are the odds? And what are the odds that she doesn't win a Darwin 🏅award especially after "tanning" herself up so much she is being accused of cultural appropriation for looking darker than Gov Northam at a college mixer?😂 Of course she'll have lots of competition from the likes of the #AOC🤓, everybody who voted for the #AOC🙉🙉 and K. Harris🤡 who somehow thought sleeping with married Mayor Willie Brown🤣 was "movin' on up" and will lead her to the White House🏰 not the outhouse! Of course since the Chinese New Year and the SOTU happen on the same night, it's a good time to comment on the pig sty in the nation's capital🏛🐖. Where many politicians seem to act only for their own interests or their party's interest and not for American interest🐽. I'm sure the Prez will talk about MAGA, the booming economy, low unemployment, border security and relative peace e.t.c, but I also look for him to reach across the aisle and publicly endorse the HRC 🧙‍♀️for the Democratic 🐎nominee for president...it would be a nice gesture to give her another chance and to see if "What Happened" was a fluke 🦄or if she truly is the answer to the deplorables... you know... despicable🦂! Kind of like the Patriots and T Brady giving the other NFL teams 🏈another chance every year, Ugg! So my advice to you is break out the kazoo🎷, uncork a lil something of your favorite🍾 adult beverage, turn SOTU into a drinking game... women drink every time Trump says "very"🍹 and men drink every time they show Pelosi and her "sour"puss🍸. That way you'll be loaded and likely to start the Chinese New Year off with a bang🚀💣💥🔥. Then make a resolution to drink more🍺, eat more bacon🥓 and be hoggish🐷 about things that matter. Personally, I don't make resolutions because I don't like breaking promises. In fact I only have one rule in life, and that's never bet money 💵that you don't have on a dog race🐕 with an ex-girlfriend🐩 who happens to be a stripper👙. And so far my resolve has persevered. But I do fully expect to eat more bacon, drink more of the good stuff, applaud when our better nature shines through and laugh at the rest. Now it's time to go hog wild and bring home the bacon. I think "I got you babe" just took on a whole new meaning!🤔🐷 But don't worry, it won't cost you anything... I'm doing it Pro 'Sonny' Bono...

Babe
I got you babe
I got you babe

I got you to hold my hand
I got you to understand
I got you to walk with me
I got you to talk with me
I got you to kiss goodnight
I got you to hold me tight
I got you, I won't let go
I got you to love me so