War on Men
Sometimes you need something a little stronger than wine, Antoinette.
Well boys and girls it's the last day of 2018🍾🎉🥳 and if there is one thing we've learned this year is that the world is full of the ridiculous...and if you remove the "ri" and the first "u" from that word you'll see where this is headed!🤔🙈 That's right there's a war on men and I'm here to fight back! There seems to be only one safe space left for us non quiche eating XYs🤠...the Man Cave! The only respite for the marginalized voice of men! Which is why I've decided to fight this battle from my "cave"... and my new blog...The Man Cave Rave!
Of course, as you might expect this war emanated from Europe where the testosterone level has been plummeting for decades. Combined with the birth of the gender confused millennial, science denying LGBTQXPALIDOCIOUS community and yeah, #metoo (doesn't bisexual imply only 2 genders? How discriminating can you get). Men are being attacked from all sides including ironically by...The Man!?🤔 Which in this case is the government maaannnn and the Dude can't abide! Big Brother armed with a pen and a politically correct fanaticism that seeks to erase all things phallic from existence.
If that's not denying science I don't know what is! Apparently the E.U. (rhymes with P.U.) wants to delete all references to men in their translations among their 28 participating countries. They want to make words gender inclusive and pronouns gender neutral...in other words they want to neuter men! Now while this may have made learning my noun declensions easier in Latin with only one sexless ending...I don't think they've fully thought this through. Some things don't matter like police officer instead of policeman or policewoman when talking to a mixed group... since in everyday parlance they're just 5-0, or PoPo! But the world can't do without man/men...without which you wouldn't have woman/ women, and I'm not talking about X and Y, nor am I talking about Adam's Rib. If you remove man/men from the language and replace it with something neutered here's what you get...the loss of humanity (hupeoplety?)! No more humans, just people. You can't say Romance, manners, Mannischevitz, manufacture, sportsmanship, demanding, performance, manage, mango, Roman, mandolin, and in Spanish there'd be no tomorrow (psst...mañana) without man. The movie Flashdance would be without their hit song🤔😉. Kids would have to use the 4 letter version of cow manure. Heterosexual Mermaids would have no one to hook up with🙈🧜♀️🧜♂️. No more of grandma's manicotti. You'd never get to stay at Mandalay in Vegas. What are you going to call a Preying Mantis? What's Manfred Mann going to call themselves? Talk about Blinded by the Light. Which brothers are you going to credit with 4 superbowls🤔🏈😁? Who wrote Magic Mountain?What's a third wheel in France going to do without the ménage à trois? How do you have a bromance without a man? What language will 1.2 billion Chinese speak? What happens to Manchester, Mannheim, Manila, Manitoba? Where do the Yemeni live? Where will the dyslexic go without Panama?🤔😉 The Beatles🐞 would be without a big hit and the IRS would have no money💵...hmm, wait a minute?🤔 Nevermind, the point is the world needs man's kind. Not to mention without which you can't have wo-men. You can't even have fe-males. It's the new year men, resolve to step up and be like Ricky Bobby🏎...get your balls back...and tell the haters to leave your manhood alone. It faces enough dangers from everyday life...flying objects🏌️♂️🏒⚾️⚽️, stray kicks🥋, No's👙💋, e.t.c...without having to fight city hall 🏛and big government. Remember men, it's your cave... you make the rules. Eat, Drink, smoke and watch all the sports you want. Decorate it like the neanderthal caveman caves with cartoon pictures of velvet dogs playing poker, stuffed animals, and bikini clad cavegirls like Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C.🤪
Now have a blast New Year's Eve and drink up. Remember, wine is delicious🍷, but sometimes you need something a little stronger🍸 and all you have to do is watch football🏈 tomorrow! Now put on some James Brown🕺 and play your music loud! Hold on... what dear? Turn it down? Yes dear...🙉🙈🙊
If that's not denying science I don't know what is! Apparently the E.U. (rhymes with P.U.) wants to delete all references to men in their translations among their 28 participating countries. They want to make words gender inclusive and pronouns gender neutral...in other words they want to neuter men! Now while this may have made learning my noun declensions easier in Latin with only one sexless ending...I don't think they've fully thought this through. Some things don't matter like police officer instead of policeman or policewoman when talking to a mixed group... since in everyday parlance they're just 5-0, or PoPo! But the world can't do without man/men...without which you wouldn't have woman/ women, and I'm not talking about X and Y, nor am I talking about Adam's Rib. If you remove man/men from the language and replace it with something neutered here's what you get...the loss of humanity (hupeoplety?)! No more humans, just people. You can't say Romance, manners, Mannischevitz, manufacture, sportsmanship, demanding, performance, manage, mango, Roman, mandolin, and in Spanish there'd be no tomorrow (psst...mañana) without man. The movie Flashdance would be without their hit song🤔😉. Kids would have to use the 4 letter version of cow manure. Heterosexual Mermaids would have no one to hook up with🙈🧜♀️🧜♂️. No more of grandma's manicotti. You'd never get to stay at Mandalay in Vegas. What are you going to call a Preying Mantis? What's Manfred Mann going to call themselves? Talk about Blinded by the Light. Which brothers are you going to credit with 4 superbowls🤔🏈😁? Who wrote Magic Mountain?What's a third wheel in France going to do without the ménage à trois? How do you have a bromance without a man? What language will 1.2 billion Chinese speak? What happens to Manchester, Mannheim, Manila, Manitoba? Where do the Yemeni live? Where will the dyslexic go without Panama?🤔😉 The Beatles🐞 would be without a big hit and the IRS would have no money💵...hmm, wait a minute?🤔 Nevermind, the point is the world needs man's kind. Not to mention without which you can't have wo-men. You can't even have fe-males. It's the new year men, resolve to step up and be like Ricky Bobby🏎...get your balls back...and tell the haters to leave your manhood alone. It faces enough dangers from everyday life...flying objects🏌️♂️🏒⚾️⚽️, stray kicks🥋, No's👙💋, e.t.c...without having to fight city hall 🏛and big government. Remember men, it's your cave... you make the rules. Eat, Drink, smoke and watch all the sports you want. Decorate it like the neanderthal caveman caves with cartoon pictures of velvet dogs playing poker, stuffed animals, and bikini clad cavegirls like Raquel Welch in One Million Years B.C.🤪
This is a man's world, this is a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl
You see, man made the cars to take us over the road
Man made the trains to carry heavy loads
Man made electric light to take us out of the dark
Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark
Man made the trains to carry heavy loads
Man made electric light to take us out of the dark
Man made the boat for the water, like Noah made the ark
This is a man's, a man's, a man's world
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl
But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl
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